Summer in the City

It is at this time of year that we can observe the migratory

patterns of the ‘Lesser-Spotted Firangi Bird of Mumbai’ as

she prepares to fly west to escape the monsoon.  Before the

journey can begin, an elaborate titivation process usually 

occurs in the spas and salons of Mumbai, ensuring she is in

tip-top condition for the flight.

Then, as the monsoon draws closer, an eerie silence descends

over mah jong and bridge tables across the city. The

chattering of the sparrows is but a distant echo and

tumbleweed sweeps though Palladium Mall. Nature’s Basket

is empty and Powai is a ghost town. Save for a few hardy

souls, the expat ladies have flown the coop and will not be

seen again until August.

I have been planning my own migration for some months

now and I am counting the days until I fly. Don’t get

me wrong, I am very happy to live in Mumbai most of the

time but when it gets this hot and humid I have had enough.

I am exhausted through lack of sleep as I spend my nights

turning the AC on and off. One minute I’m boiling, the next

I’m freezing. I wake up drenched in sweat and pretty much

stay that way all day.

I have nothing but admiration for anyone who goes out to

work in this heat and even more for anyone who goes out to

work and is actually productive. Mick had to change his shirt

twice before going out this morning; it was as much as I

could do to lay face-down on the sofa under the AC. I

wouldn’t go so far to say that my husband hates me on these

mornings but there is definitely a simmering resentment in

the air.

 “What are you doing today?” He asks. It sounds like an

accusation.

Let me see…yoga, coffee morning, facial, meet friend for

lunch and shopping, nails then home in time to watch ‘Come

Dine With Me’ circa 2005 on BBC Entertainment. Hmm, a

busy day then.

Obviously I can’t say any of that as it would make me look

like a frivolous lady-who-lunches without value or purpose.

This is not how I see myself but I realize this is how it might

come across. Also I am far too hot and bothered to justify my

existence to him now.

“I am going to take your suit to the dry cleaners, buy

something lovely for dinner and call the plumber to fix the

tap.”

This placates him for another day and I am free to go about

my business unscrutinized.  Samir and I can get that little lot

done in about two minutes, no probs. To be honest, I don’t

know where the time goes. When I first came to Mumbai

three years ago, I brought, in my shipment, two suitcases

filled with thousands of loose photographs going back 15

years. I was going to buy some albums and arrange them all

in chronological order. In the days when I used to work, I

dreamed about how nice it would be to have the time to do

this but not only have I not even started the job, but during

the past couple of monsoons, the photographs have all stuck

 together, each suitcase contains one amorphous blob. I’ll

wait until after this monsoon and then I’ll tackle it. I promise.

So this year, the plan is to head off to Cornwall for a seaside

holiday with some old friends. We are very much looking

forward to some sea air, beautiful scenery and sitting in a

pub having a good laugh. I will look at them and envy their

settled life in rural England, their home-improvement plans

and their pets. They will look at us and envy our

international jet-setting but I wonder, if it came down to it,

would any of us really want to swap? At this moment, I am

sorely tempted.

Sadly Mick has to fly back to Mumbai after a week while Polly

and I go on an extended tour of Europe, visiting friends in

Italy and Spain. Apparently there’s going to be a lot of

football on the telly in June so he won’t miss us. I know when

I come back, everything in the apartment, including Mick,

will be covered in monsoon mould but that’s all part of life

here in Mumbai, we’ll laugh about it one day.

I have just seen this month’s Mumbai Connexions classifieds

and it seems that a lot of people are leaving for good this

monsoon. The ‘staff available’ section is chocca-block with

folk recommending their maids, cooks and drivers.

Hopefully, a ‘fresh batch’ of expats will ship in after the rains

to employ them all. I have spoken to several people who are

moving on to places like Canada and Australia and they

seemed more than a little demob-happy. I must admit to

feeling a tinge of jealousy listening to their excited talk of

clean air, countryside, homes and gardens.

If nothing else, Mumbai has made us realize how much we

miss all that stuff. Perhaps we didn’t appreciate just how

much until we came to live in this polluted city. However, I

am guessing that within a couple of months of setting up

their dream homes elsewhere, there will be things about the

Maximum City that they will miss. They just don't know it

yet! 

Wishing you all a fabulous summer, wherever you are.