If someone had told me a year ago that my
main mode of transport for 2015 would be ‘the bus’, I’d have thought they were
a deck short of a double decker. Me? On the bus? I’m scared of buses; I don’t
even know how to catch one. Buses are way too complicated; how do you
know which one to get? Where is it going? When will it come? So many unknowns
and anyway, I drive a car so why on earth would I ever need to catch a bus?
Reader, what was I thinking? Six months
after arriving in Hong Kong, I can’t get enough of buses. I’m a massive bus
fan. I flippin’ love ‘em, especially the 75 (Sham Wan to Central via Causeway
Bay and Admiralty) Every time it comes sailing down the hill I get a little
rush of dopamine because I’m so happy to see it. The 75 takes me to all the
best places in air-conditioned comfort. I am also partial to the 72a but I
don’t care for the 71, which takes a circuitous route through Pokfulam and made
me very late for an AWA early morning cycle once. (Again ladies, apologies!)
I’ve come a long way since Day Two in Hong
Kong when I accidentally caught a bus to Hung Hom (107) instead of Aberdeen (48).
My husband Mick pointed out the bus stop the day before and gave me explicit
instructions on which bus to get.
But in the heat of the moment I panicked
and got on the first bus that came along. I waited until I was absolutely
confident that it was going the wrong way and then called Mick to accuse him of
sending me on a mission I was not yet ready for: “It’s your fault” I cried, “I
told you I didn’t know how to catch a bus!”
I know; it’s pathetic when I think about it
now, but I was so traumatised by the Hung Hom incident that I didn’t go out for
a week. Eventually, Mick gently coaxed me onto the 75 and suddenly, the scales
fell from my eyes. The last time I rode the bus regularly was in the early 1980’s
as a schoolgirl in a fug of cigarette smoke – this is a whole new bus
experience. Spotlessly clean with air-conditioning, TV and even free Wi-Fi – what’s
not to love?
OK, well actually there is something not to
love. As Jane Austen might have said: It’s a truth universally acknowledged that
there are sometimes nutters on the bus. It’s the same in every country in the
world; the general rule is: Avoid the back seat upstairs at all costs.
I have made the mistake of sitting on the
back seat twice, both times next to different nutters; one watching a cockfight
on his phone at full volume and the other enjoying as spot of porn,
occasionally looking up to photograph the girl sleeping opposite. Creepy.
Other than this, I cannot sing the praises
of the Hong Kong buses highly enough. Oh well, perhaps I do have one more tiny
criticism: You have to hold on VERY TIGHT if you are going up or down the
stairs while the bus is moving. I am surprised there aren’t more loss-of-momentum
related accidents. Other than the nutters and the HANGING-ON-FOR-DEAR-LIFE
stair moments, I love, love, love the HK buses. And now I have discovered the
‘Easy Rider’ app, there’s no stopping me. See a bus coming, punch in the number
and see exactly where it’s going. It’s the future! I’ll never get lost again. Only
another 16 years until I’m entitled to the senior citizens’ Octopus card. Can’t
wait!
